QUATRE. Don’t you remember our language, Trowa?
TROWA. Was? Da… da ist etwas…
QUATRE. Oh dear, I only know fragments of German, the bit you taught me. Trowa, come on, you know my language by heart, you need to remember.
TROWA. …im Herzen?
QUATRE. Hey… tell me, do you understand me?
TROWA. Ja.
QUATRE. At least that… can’t you speak to me, then, too?
TROWA. Ich würde ja gerne, aber ich weiß nicht wie!!!!
QUATRE. What?! Obviously you can’t, then…
Why have you been picking fights in the first place?! That blow on your poor
head must have been intense. (Quatre
examines the back of Trowa’s head with tender care)
TROWA. Quatre…
QUATRE. Oh, you know who I am! (happy) Great. There is a nasty lump, but no more blood. I wished we could just go to sleep and you would remember tomorrow, but that is not how it works. I just wished I knew the reason why you got into that fight! It seemed so pointless – how can you try to fight with four persons? You are strong, but that even was too much for your skills, Trowa.
TROWA. Ich weiß es nicht mehr… Aber da ist etwas. Wenn ich doch zu Dir sprechen könnte.
QUATRE. (desperate) What are you saying, by allah!
TROWA. Oh, bitte! Du machst mich unglücklich, wenn Du so traurig bist! Ich würde es ja ändern, wenn ich könnte!
QUATRE. Did I understand you correctly? I shouldn’t be sad because… because…
TROWA. Es macht mich traurig.
QUATRE. … it makes you sad? Sorry. I always understood you. I can’t bear not to, all of a sudden. You know, it is late, Trowa. Let’s go to sleep, and see to it tomorrow… I just wished I had already brought back your memory. Here, I’ll show you my room, in case you don’t remember, and give you something to wear.
TROWA. Da ist etwas.
QUATRE. What? There’s what?
TROWA. Da ist etwas.
QUATRE. Listen, Trowa, don’t hurt yourself tonight by trying to remember. Sleep, okay? Maybe I am wrong and things will be better tomorrow. Maybe you can talk to me tomorrow… Don’t hurt yourself.
TROWA. Aber da ist etwas!
QUATRE. Come on. It doesn’t make sense tonight, especially not to me. (he leads Trowa off stage into a room, comes back and lays down on the sofa, closing his eyes)
(long
pause, music)
TROWA. (enters
and walks over to Quatre)(shakes him gently)
QUATRE. (wakes up) Trowa? … What are you doing here in the middle of the night? … You can’t sleep, huh? … Oh dear, have you been crying? What is it? The headache? (Trowa shakes his head) Please, don’t cry. It’s going to be alright, it was only a fight, the effects can’t be so bad, and your memory is going to come back.
TROWA. (sobbing) Sie kommt zurück. Ja.
QUATRE. (pats him gently) It is not lost forever, it’s still in your head.
TROWA. Du verstehst nicht, Quatre! Ich erinnere mich langsam…
QUATRE. What do I not understand?…
TROWA. Du. Du bist meine Erinnerung!
QUATRE. Memory? I am your memory?
TROWA. Ja.
QUATRE. I don’t understand what you mean by that. Do you remember all about me now?
TROWA. (shakes
his head, hugs Quatre silently, they remain like that for a while, crying)
QUATRE. Don’t worry. Stop crying, please… You can stay here tonight, I won’t leave you alone. You can sleep here, next to me, so you know I am close. Oh allah, please stop crying, please. Don’t worry now, be patient, it’s not going to last. Trowa, don’t cry (cries himself), there is no need to. Calm down, I beg you. Calm down, Trowa…
(both
on the sofa)
TROWA. Quatre…
QUATRE. I’m awake. I hope you feel better now.
TROWA. Ja… yes.
QUATRE. Good. I’ll show you photos and other things, maybe that helps.
TROWA. I think just waiting might help.
QUATRE. Trowa!!! You remember how to talk to me! Maybe time really heals your wounds! Come on, what else? What else do you remember, tell me!
TROWA. Quatre. There are things I remember, but some I don’t. I remember this room, the sofa and the blanket, but the rest of the apartment is so unfamiliar to me. As if my memory had been cut off by the doorframe.
QUATRE. Locations are unimportant… What about moments, and incidents? About people?
TROWA. I cannot think of anybody else I know but you, Quatre. I remembered your face, when you picked me up yesterday.
QUATRE. I am so glad I found you, and nobody else. I’m so glad you were so close to my house when it happened! I don’t want to think about what would have happened, if nobody had come across you, or the wrongs person had…
TROWA. There was a reason why I was this close, and I can’t remember it.
QUATRE. Don’t worry about it now.
TROWA. Yesterday… I said: “Du bist meine Erinnerung!”. There are a lot of memories in my mind, all connected with you.
QUATRE. Really? We used to hang out a lot, so I think there’s a lot of material.
TROWA. There is a picture of you in the park, playing with a kite… and I can’t tell whether it is memory or thought.
QUATRE. (sad) I never ever held a kite in my hand. I never had one… you must have made it up, or mixed memories together. (confused) Why would you have memories in your mind which are none? That makes it even more confusing, Trowa. Can’t you tell the real ones apart from the others?
TROWA. No… those pictures are so real... Quatre. Then it wasn’t you, who stood on the beach, throwing rocks into the water?
QUATRE. You saw that? (looks away, quietly) I thought I was alone…
TROWA. Sorry. At least there is a fragment of memory from it. Maybe I should stop talking about it, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.
QUATRE. No, it is fine. It isn’t quite a big deal that I was throwing rocks into the water.
TROWA. Yes. But your privacy would be a big deal. I hope I didn’t hurt it.
QUATRE. No. It was on a beach, where anybody could have seen me. (pause)
TROWA. Quatre. There is something else I cannot put my mind on.
QUATRE. What is it?
TROWA. Is it memory or thought, that I told you I loved you?
QUATRE. What?! (nervous) You never said that! You wouldn’t say such things, Trowa, that would not be like you. I don’t know what memory mixed up with that, or what else mangled with your brain, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to tell me something like this. You have always been restrained about emotions, Trowa, and it would take something great to make you fall in love with someone. I am not that great. I am only-
TROWA. Quatre… I know it is memory, that I saw you sitting on the beach later, that you were framed by the sunlight and that you were beautiful.
QUATRE. Trowa, please…
TROWA. The memory returns. The reason why I have come here is, because I wanted to watch your window… then these guys came, and spoke badly about you. That is why I picked a fight.
QUATRE. (weakly) Trowa… plase…
TROWA. I am sure it is memory, not wish or thought, that you sat there on the shallow sea, while I was laying in the dunes, to watch you from afar. I had followed you without reason, but returned with a heart full of you.
QUATRE. (sniff) Are you sure you mean me?
TROWA. (kisses him) I never told you. And I also watched you swimming that night… you thought you were alone. I was ashamed. But you were so beautiful… you and the water.
QUATRE. You think someone like me is beautiful?
TROWA. Ja. Wunderschön. Ich kann es Dir nicht sagen, aber jede Kurve Deines Körpers fasziniert mich, und immer, wenn jemand anders sie berührte, starb mein Herz.
QUATRE. I don’t understand all of it…
TROWA. You were not supposed to.
QUATRE. (kisses him softly) I picked up some of what you said. It is my body, isn’t it?
TROWA. (looks aside) It is you.
QUATRE. (unbuttons his shirt) If that is all I can give to you, I will.
TROWA. (watches
Quatre undress)
(both
in bed, covered)
QUATRE. Is that what you wanted?
TROWA. No.
QUATRE. (sighs) Then what do you want? You have me, I’d give you anything.
TROWA. You.
QUATRE. I gave you all I have.
TROWA. No. You gave your body, but I want your heart.
QUATRE. You have my heart… Don’t you know it? Do I have yours?
TROWA. Ja. And my memory. Give it to me.
QUATRE. (kisses him) There.
TROWA. I remember you were feeding fish in
the garden.
QUATRE. (kisses him again, longer)
TROWA. I remember, I came and helped you, and you spilled the whole box into the water. But it is not important to remember scenes on sandy beaches and dark ponds. Who are you, Quatre?
QUATRE. (roles
on top of him and kisses, softly) I am the one, who dearly wished to have a
kite, when you told me about summer camp. I am the one, who spilled fish food
when you appeared out of nowhere. I am the one on the beach, who was thinking
about you, not knowing how close you were. And I am the one, who sat on the
shallow water and let his heart cry for you. (kiss)
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